Newton 's Method

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method  

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Karan Johar Method (director)

Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method (director

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Menaka Gandhi method

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method

Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for
your birthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write krishna a letter.

**************
Letter 1

Dear krishna,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.

Your friend,
Bobby

**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,

So he tore up the letter and started over.

**************
Letter 2

Dear krishna,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend,
Bobby

**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

**************
Letter 3

Dear krishna,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for  my birthday.

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to krishna either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

**************
Letter 4

krishna,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please! Thank you,
Bobby

**************
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
wanted to go to temple.

Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the temple on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the temple and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the radha.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a  pen.


Bobby began to write his letter to krishna.
**************
Letter 5

krishna,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE
BIKE!!!!!!....

Do you think this time Bobby will get a Red Bike... ????

Hi All,      

Finally here is an update from me...
First you guys have to forgive me for updating you late, but I think it's the right time for me to announce the news from my side and to push your adrenaline rush further.

Hmm…

Now straight to the news, still so many issues are yet to be resolved and so many people need to be convinced,especially mom. So, with great reluctance I am disclosing this news, since anyway you should know about it one day.
I think most of you would have guessed it by this time, Yes it is it, you think what I think.

Yes…I am tying the knot !!
This process was underway from past few months, but i intentionally kept it under covers so as to surprise u all.It was actually planned for next month. But due to opposition from all sides, the date has been tentatively moved to december. I understand very well that you all would be in a great awe and shock(especially few of my close friends ), but yes it is. Everything happened so fast.

I am going psyche already.

All said. All right, next question; who is it?
It's going to be another surprise for you!!!###???

I am attaching some of my pics from which you can recognize who it is. Will keep you posted on further happenings.
Hoping for the best L

Right Click on the area below n drag the cursor .. to c the pic...:)

SORRY I AM LITTLE LATE...

THIS WAS FOR 1ST APRIL BUT ANYWAYS .....

WISHING U ALL A HAPPY BELATED FOOL`S DAY..

ENJOY........

:)...

THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER CHOICE

You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose. You alone steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today, tomorrow or in any distant time to come. You hold the tiller. You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it. It's always your next move.

                

         Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are,
              Who is earning almost as much as you do.


One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are.

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life.


One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen.

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; -to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just

                             like you are as

to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like  yours, are to be met.


One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some  and trust her.


One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most  importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.


               But not many guys understand this......


                       Please appreciate "HER"


                       I hope you will do....

 VISITING AUSTRALIA... ................. ........

the teams shud learn few rules before they do so.....

.

...

..........

(1)    Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.

(2)    While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3)    While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4)    UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5)    All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6)    MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.

(7)    NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8)    THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - “THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET” more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.......

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Keep smiling............... :) :) :) :) :)

Writings of the light assault the Darkness, more prodigious than meteors.

The tall unknowable city takes over the countryside.

Sure of my life and my death, I observe the ambitious and would like to understand them.

Their day is greedy as a lariat in the air.

Their night is a rest from the rage within steel, quick to attack.

They speak of humanity.

My humanity is in feeling we are all voices of same poverty.

They speak of homeland.

My homeland is the rhythm of a guitar, a few portraits, an old sword, the Willow Grove’s visible prayer as evening falls.

Time is leaving me.

More silent than my shadow, I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.

They are indispensable, singular, worthy of tomorrow.

My name is someone and anyone.

I walk slowly, like one who comes from so far away he doesn’t expect to arrive.............

 ……….. Jorge Luis Borges

monkey....nahin bolna kisi ko......

JUST FOR   You 

JUST FOR   You  Decide to be happy today, to live with what
is yours - your family, your business, your job. If you can't have what you like,
maybe you can like what you have.

Just for today, be kind, cheerful, agreeable,
responsive, caring, and understanding.
be your best, dress your best, talk softly, look
for the bright side of things.  

Praise people for what they do and don't criticize them for what they cannot do. 

 If someone does something stupid, forgive
and forget.  After all, it's just for one day.

 Who knows, it might turn out to be a
nice day!

And Always Remember..

Somebody cares if you're happy today,
If your heart is cheerful and light.

Somebody cares if you're feeling good
And everything's going just right.

And somebody hopes that this message will show,
In a warm little heart-to-heart way..

You're thought of, remembered,
and happily wished an especially wonderful life !!!

And tht person is Me............

The Colours Of INDIA

"Tamils"are always proud  to be Tamizhs; Pretty courteous (that is what they  think, at least!). They  speak yenglish but sorry, no indi (Hindi)saar...what da??.The   more common Madarasi  (chennaisi..., now?) is an ardent fan of kireeketmatches.

Their counterparts in Bombay think they  live in America but speak Hinglish like ...are you sure ki Sujata aa rahi hai  ya Ill go akela!" And
they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in  Hindi Grammar.

The Canadians, excuse me, the "Kannadigas" aor (are) the  coolest dobun When it comes to Rajkumar (actor), if a fly sits on his  nose,
they'll burn the entire city of Bengaloroo to kill the fly! To hell with
Silicon valley ! I-ron, firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu,
filamu  are some of their favourites.

"Maharashtrians" are a  conservative, confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar, that is because gavasakar,  tendulkar, bahulkar,.. confused that is because sitting in southern part of   India they would ask the other person "are you from Maharashtra or from south   India ..?" and genuinely wonder why the other person takes some time to answer  the question. They like the principles of pheejix and their favourite character in the alphabet is Zay (god knows where that came from). Although  soft, peace loving people but they elect the shivsena to rule  them.

If you go further eesht, the land uf Udissa - the land  of irron ("r"
unsilent) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The  people are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask your name starts from B or  Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze had a roll nomber jero, jero,sebhen.

Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud  oph Subas Chondro Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by name  Satyajit Ray who was also pretty good) and eberybody is X da. I used to  habe a friend by name.Dada. Bonder...neber mind. Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, tho!

Bihari kids are  supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the universe!). How we  wish they grow up the same way,...but... And Biharees are bery phond of  Laloo and Ranchi , isse bhadiya tumre pass koochi hai kaa?! spit  spit...

 
Punjabis are  very sweet and aggressive and offer Rotti Shotti Khayega! to which I once  replied No. He said Tage itu, yaar! By Godu! Surjeetu, what happenedu, oi?!.  Then of course, everybodys a paappe or a kaakke. Thats Pnjab for  you.

But at the  end of the day, wherever you are in the world, whether it is in
Sunnyvale ,   CA ; Birmingham , UK ; UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road ,
Singapore , ask them  who they are and you'll get just one answer ---
"INDIANS"

AFTER ALL HUM SAAB EK HAIN!!

RIGHT....................